:P

Friday, June 29 @ 2:56 AM

很多时候，人有预计能力。只是不肯相信。
很多时候，人明明知道结果。只是不肯承认。
我太过懦弱，不敢接受。
「朋友」比「沉默」更痛。
有人说我喜欢他好久。但如果用时间计算真的只有几个月。可是怎么没人问我跌的多深？
「久」。真的重要吗？
「深」是否来的可贵？
知道他的「知道」让我更无法面对。

关闭的心何时会再次启动？

方大同：三人游
「至少我们中还有人快乐，这样就已经够了」

Sinyi

Monday, June 4 @ 11:32 PM

我的生命中最重要的不再是他。

明白了爱情并不是那么简单。并非努力等待，努力守护就能拥有。也许，是我太过害羞，是我太过胆怯。很多人说应该勇敢说爱，这样就不会有遗憾了。

不说与说的最终抉择是自己。遗憾与否的最终抉择也是自己。选择不说是我的选择。你可说是我胆怯，可以说我懦弱。可能是我希望在再次相遇的时候，还能保持当初的朋友关系。最终的决定权还是在我的身上。无论别人对我有什么想法，我不再理会。我绝对有权利选择我爱人的方式。

我无法说我经历的是人世间多伟大的爱，还是痛过的心已无法愈合。现在的我只想好好的享受‘友人’的名称。男人和女人之间，我只想当‘友人’。只要不对任何人动了情，有了多的想法，终究都不会伤了心吧。很愚蠢的想法吗？很懦弱的想法吗？你也可以说是我逃避的方法。

我还是相信每个人都有拥有爱的可能。但现在的我只想把机会暂时的放下。

也许，有一天，我还是会对某个人动了心。但在那之前，我只想好好的让心休息一下下。直到我的心值得任何人进入与被爱。

————————————————————————

如果要说这日子我经历的是什么，我会说是友情。我是个记得承诺的人。有时，我觉得我太坚守承诺。即使是在微小不过的约定，我也会牢牢记得。

她对我拥有太多的承诺与约定。但最终陪她完成的并不是我。或是一开始和我说说笑笑罢了。我并不在乎是否我是你的第一想法。但如果约定了我，请不要把我遗忘。请不要把我们的约定和别人完成。

我好想彻彻底底的好好的向她说我的不明白。可是我没法。是我没勇气吗？是我明白就算我说了她也不会谅解？是我太清楚就算说清楚了她也觉得没错。还是因为有太多的人和我有同样的想法吗？

有人向我说‘算了，她一直以来都是这样的。’

有人向我说‘你们都认识那么就了，你还不懂她是这样的吗？’

也有人说‘你值得更好的’

我不会说我值得谁，但我真的必须一再的去包容吗？为何接受，包容的人总是我？当我需要接受，包容的时候，她有吗？

也许唯有尽量的不再有交集，我们还能把对方美好的回忆留下。

必须在那所剩无几的美好回忆消失前，离开开始令我惧怕的你。

因为时间真的会让我看清你并非我想的那么的像你。

欣仪

Sunday, May 13 @ 10:17 PM

好久没有写博客了。似乎已经遗忘了当初决定好好写博客的意义。

近期的我越来越懒的写了。是因为觉得没人在乎吗？可是我一开始写博客的目的就不是为了谁啊。那是因为觉得自己的生活越来越无意义了吗？好像也不是页。

无论如何，我不会关闭这里。但写博客的次数应该有待加强吧【以近期的状况看来】。

那就来报告一下下近期发生值得愉快的事吧！

亲爱的Rachel 19岁生日！

我和她从中学一年级就同班了。但那时的我们并没有像现在一样那么要好。必须承认我看她并不太顺眼。我还蛮常看人不顺眼的啦～小时候，小嘛！谁没年轻过啊！之后，我们在中三换班的时候又同班了。那是我记得我还真的平生第一次和人摊牌的说我不喜欢你。那时的我拿来的勇气啊？但我们验证了不打不相识的永和传说。现在不是变好朋友吗？我并不是那么的会相彼此吐露心事但需要人陪是还是会陪对方。我一直很感谢她不变的友情。因为经历过背弃与离别的我太害怕接受朋友了。但还是有这一批的信赖。幸福的我还是拥有她们。

The Youtube Stars

太幸运了吧～没想到我学校居然有办法请到他们来！不可思议吧！一切太像梦了！而且更恐怖的是我既然还坐第一排。我整个是疯掉了吧！一切发生的太快。虽然是有两个小时多的事。而且本来我还没机会跟任何人拍到照的。第一我提起勇气的向前说‘请跟我拍照’。David Choi答应了！开心！哈哈哈！

为了几时，我也跟叔叔一家回马来西亚一趟。好像是上个礼拜吧。记得因为功课，我那时好想快被逼疯了吧。当我不会做的时候，我真的会疯掉！哈哈！好啦，我是讲的有点夸张。只是会一直想快点把功课做完。

我喜欢游泳！I love swimming!

我本来就很喜欢游泳。但一直没有人陪我。现在我的朋友们已经成功被我影响了啊。现在我们几乎一个礼拜会去游泳一次。哈哈！不是为了减肥，而是我真的喜欢在水里的感觉。就很自由，很被保护的感觉。一切就靠自己，就是你的选择。我爱游泳但我怕水。本来的我不敢到深的水里。现在的我慢慢的适应，慢慢的放开泳池的墙。那时的我真的感到那水里放松的自由。

我剪头发了！

是的。并不是很理想！我明白！我也是千百个不愿意啊！但唯有等它长了！无奈的我啊！以后应该会常常看到我把头发扎起来了。无奈！

我又参加国庆日的表演了！第三年了。会有变化吗？

最近啊，我常在想。我们一生中到底有多少人会去，会留，会在意，会遗弃我们？我很清楚我并不完美，我对于某些事情有比很多人来的歪理与执着。我也很清楚我尝试过遗忘，我学着不去想，不去在意。因为觉得可惜，觉得值得，决定再尝试恢复。可是再次监督人与人之间的约定是如此的不堪一击，如此的不能承担。什么好朋友，好老婆都是假的吧～你约定了但遗忘了我没关系。最痛的是约定的是我，陪你的是她们。如果一开始就选择她们，又何必向我作出承诺与约定。这样只是再次的背弃我而已。

我不知道我会不会再回头。但如果可以，我真的不想再被背弃。因为被背弃的感觉真的很不好。

T.Sinyi

Sunday, April 15 @ 1:08 PM

How should I start??
I worked this holiday. At the like last min of holiday.
Got some money.

Went to zouk that day with Rachel and Jiamei. Didn't stay the whole night. Just went there look look drink drink. Didn't even feel a least drunk. Cause I only drank two shot.

And Rachel join Jiamei and me to work at Aviva. This time round, we are like any normal office lady. Sit on the desk and do typing. Previous job at Aviva with Jiamei is stand there and be IT Helpdesk.

The pervious job is much more physically tiring while this is psychologically tiring.
Monday would be last day of work. And that mean school starting.

School resuming on Tuesday. And ad I still didn't know my timetable. #howgreat

What's next?? I went shopping. Finally get some jeans into my wardrobe. Hopefully nothing happen and I will wear jeans more often. You need to understand how much I prefer shorts.

I am waiting for the next salary to come. So that I can like buy another like pair of shorts and one chino boyfriend pants. And that would announce the end of shopping.
Other leftover money is meant for emergency usage and food.

As I said, school starting. FYP project is known. This mean year 3 officially starting. Holy!! Poly life pass real fast. Like one blink of eye and I am starting year 3.

I need to get serious. And work hard. Bless me people.

T.sinyi

Sunday, March 11 @ 11:52 PM

YOOOOOOOOO

Once again, is the end of the week.

Wanted to post about the sentosa trip but keep forget. Opps. I shall start now.

We went to SENTOSA, SANG K and BBQ STEAMBOAT. !! Have lots of fun that day. That like a full day of fun. Meeting up with the girls, swimming !! I love most is the eating part. Opps. Yum Yum.

Photo time !

This is taken during end of secondary life.

We went over to East Coast to celebrate.

This is taken last year.

We all changed and become more mature? LOL

And this is 2012 !!

DID WE CHANGED? DID WE?

Been though lots of these few girls. We laughed like any other girls, we quarrel like some monster, we support like a family, we gay like any pinkish lady,we went though lots and lots. But still, we never fail to get together when anyone need anyone. If anyone read this, they gonna say I'm so gay again. ><

P.SI believe one day we sure gonna get a full attendance photo. forever lack of someone on our outing. :(

this an epic fail one. A boy ran across when we taking photo.

I'm even looking at him. LOL

有时候，我想是我要求的太多吗？还是，我真的难于屈服？还是，嫉妒使我蒙蔽了双眼？不是我看不到她的付出，而是我也不止看到那些，听到那些你的委屈。是我自私，选择不说，选择不理会。是我的沉默，选择不放手。不把话说绝是因为想保留那一丝丝的情谊。深怕说穿的是友谊。

请原谅我选择先不做抉择。

T.sinyi

Friday, March 2 @ 10:17 PM

HO HO HO !!

I'm here to announce that tml would be a big day.

Outing planned with my girls.

Amanda Wong, Rachel Ang, Joslyn Yip and Tan Jiamei.

Just the madness of the girls not meeting up for so long and a final meet up before they really get busy with their attachment.
Stay up and look out for the photos that would be taken tmr. It would be a blast.

And yet, for this like 5 days, or should I say since sunday, I have been working out. Swimming for like 3-4 days, gym and eventually cycling.
Cycling for today is seriously hard. My leg ache when I pedal. That must be the work out at the gym yesterday.

Okay, so I'm trying to get a balanced diet but not by reducing my food intake too much. I still ate a heavy breakfast. But light dinner. Is not that I skipped lunch. Because I woke up after 12am. And so, breakfast and Lunch is like together? LOL

And so, stay up for tmr to know what we did. (Y)
Bye~

Peace,
teesinyi

Friday, February 24 @ 12:51 AM

^I will do my best to smile. No matter what happen.^

Hell Yeah. Holiday is here. My first holiday night.

Enjoy myself with the sleeping mood on the lazy mode.

The first day of holiday is not really good. Facing much problem.

Money. So wonderful but yet so threatening. I cant choose not to face it. Because this world cant goes without Money. I will stay on my side firmly. Not giving up or giving in to anyone.

I will get a job for this holiday. I know I need the money and I want the money. For him or for myself.

我喜欢夜晚安静的自由。白天的世界太吵闹让人无法安静。

夜晚的安静让我可以独自的自由想象。

没有任何人的吵杂声。没有必须面对的人。有的是我。自己一个人专属的空间。

在安静的城市，播着悲伤的情歌，静静的听着。这样的温柔似乎疗愈了我烦躁的心，安顿了不安的我。只有这个时候，我才能真真的放松。

如果心烦，不如也试着在夜里放松。

Peace,

Sinyi

Sunday, February 19 @ 11:30 PM

Happy Birthday to T.Sinyi

This year, I spend my birthday at home. First time sick during birthday. Totally no mood to go out and celebrate. Just wanna spend my day at home and rest my ass off.

At first, we got no plan to buy a cake as I'm having a serious cough. And yeah, mum say we should get one as I'm 20[lunar] this year. Therefore, she brought me one cake. But I only ask for 19 candles. Ahaha. Act one young.

My birthday wish:

1. Pass all my UT and graduate from RP.

2. Dad's business get better.

3. Everyone in the family to get really closer toward each other.

And so... I not being really myself [I guess so]...

I actually brought a fruit cake. People who know me, I always crave for chocolate cakes. Maybe because I'm sick. Totally no craving for chocolate.

Cant wait to receive the iphone cover that Bro brought for me. He say he giving it to me tmr instead. Okay, thank him much.

happy.birthday.

T.sinyi

Monday, February 13 @ 10:02 AM

On my way to school now.
And yeah, my cough doesn't seem to be recovering. That really bad.

Went to Malaysia yesterday. Sort of debt collecting. But nothing is collected. This is bad again. How many bad do I need in my life??
Went to fortune teller yesterday. Is not really fortune telling but I don't know what it is called. Just call it that first. Anyway, the main problem in my family is financial. He say that dad has been suffering much since the age of 52. Oh my freeaking god. And the freakin first thing he say is my dad very got 义气.
But he also say the money dad lent out will be 一去不回. Another #bad in life again.
And of course , he mention about the two kids which is bro and me. I guess he said really true about me. And ya, I like fat stuff. Lmao.
Hopefully got chance we go there again. He is freaking accurate. :))

Sunday, February 12 @ 1:35 AM

HOLIDAY ! :P

What I need to get it down before 17Feb2012:
1. PD - As my PD got rejected, I need to redo.
2. Study for Understanding Test Three.

What I need to do after Understanding Test Three:
WORK !!! GET A JOB !!! WORK !!!

And ya, my birthday is coming.
At this age, I totally no feel for birthday. Because I'm going be 19. After over the age of 18, I totally feel old. Before 18, you wanted so much be be there. But after you are 18, you just wanna stay. We shall see. Anyway, the date suck, is between UT. =.=

And I need my cough to be gone real soon. Been coughing for these few days. Throat seriously itchy much.

Another great day before my birthday is VALENTINE. Been spending this day alone for like 18 year. No worry for another one. But who wont want someone to be there for them at this 'special' day? I don't mind one but no hurry for one.

Peace Yeah,
SsinyiI

Tuesday, February 7 @ 11:51 PM

last day of school tmr. Digital Media Technologies~
Heard is gaming day. School will end early for us. Heard from classmate, might be organizing a sakae buffet trip. We shall see it tmr.

Hopefully, I will be able to find a job right after exam. I need to work man. For my phone bills, and ya, my own spending. Guess stuff I wanna get never end ah.

life been good. :) Just a short blog up.
peace,
SsinyiI

Saturday, January 28 @ 1:06 AM

Chinese New Year is over. [:

I did rest during the 4 days 3 nights.
But I didn't sleep well. Thank to my dad&bro. The two of them seriously need some sleeping position lesson. Both just keep squeezing toward my side. And I can totally fall off the bed. >.<

Fireworks was as great as last year. #ForeverNice
This year, sky lantern was also release. I didn't really get to release one under my hand. But yeah, I'm the one doing the filming.

I need to say I enjoy such occasions. Spending time with my cousins. Getting closer to them every meet up. Lesser awkward moment between us. Maybe because we are all grown up and able to accept one another better.

Yeah~ They are twin !! Both of them are madness cute ! BoyBoy is a very gentle boy. He talk really softly and sort of cry easily. HAHA. While GirlGirl is sort of opp. character of BoyBoy. GirlGirl is more active. And she got really a pair of beautiful big round eye. Whenever she want something, she will lower down her head and talk softly while she ask for it. We all did our best to reject her as she couldn't eat all the heaty food. #MadCuteness

Yeah~ The kids. Just like less than a quarter of kids in my family. And that Jiawei. LOL.

Now is the start of week 14. 2 more week for this sem. Year 2 will be ending soon. Year 3 will be here. I couldn't imagine that I'm gonna be a Year 3 student soon. I don't feel like one !
Things starting to get serious. I'm on a real fight for my future, for my life. Just endure over this year and life would be good.

P.S I'll be good.

SsinyiI

Saturday, January 21 @ 2:48 AM

Oh Yeah ~ Finally I reached the CNY's holiday. Assignment two came to an end. Although my code is not perfect but at least I got it done with Depit's help.
This holiday is like my most looking forward days~ Finally, I can have some sleep without waking up in the night thinking about the codes and stuff~

Don't know why but I seem very looking forward for this CNY holiday. Cant wait to go back Malaysia. :) Enjoy myself. Just spending days that you don't really have to think what you need to do next. Just go blank.

I would be spending 4 days 3 night in Malaysia. Going in on saturday. Still not sure if I'm going in the afternoon or night. :/ Anyway, I sure gonna enjoy myself.

Smile,
SsinyiI

Monday, January 9 @ 1:21 AM

First Week of school ended !!!!! And of course first weekend of 2012 ended.
Before I even realize, this weekend is already passed.
This week been a real busy one for me. Yes, I didn't study much during this week but did do something.

From Thursday to Saturday, I have been like staying in this booth more than I staying on my bed. HAHA. 3D is not a bad choice, I guess. I did enjoyed using all the equipments. Like a boss ahh~ And ya, that the special 3D glasses.

And during saturday, I rushed down to Somerset to meet the sec.co. Watched The Darkest Hour. Hmmm... it can be more scary as the name given. Didn't go with the rest for supper. Mum still waiting for me. HAHA.

And sunday ~ went out with them to library to do all the codes. Fruitful day. I did my work quietly at one side horrr. HAHAHA.

And here the second week goes. :)

byebye.
Will blog again soon.

SsinyiI

Thursday, January 5 @ 10:00 PM

Welcome back to school.

Back to school on Tuesday. Web Application Development. I'm lost from this module since problem 10. Seriously, I'm so not coding type. Not my cup of tea.

Wednesday went to Field Trip to Nee Ang City. Walked around Orchard and take different photos. Is even more tiring than school days.

Thursday. Should be my off day. Why do I even got Thursday as my off day?? :((
I was back in school at 8.30am for the Open House. I was in the SOI's 3D booth. Overall, I guess we are quite slack. Just have to do simple setup and show the students about the 3D. But we really eat too late. I'm hungry ! And sleepy at time, especially when there's no 'customers'.

Tmr Friday. Last day of Open House for me. Woohoo. This week passed fast. That good. Simply mean 5 week left with 4 week. And 2 more week to CNY !! I cant wait to be back home[Malaysia]. I'm so gonna have again my power sleeping rest in Malaysia.

is 10:08. Time to sleep. Night.

SsinyiI

Monday, January 2 @ 4:22 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR. :)

2012 is here.

2011 is gone.

Okay, first question. How's my countdown??

Went to Gay's house to stay over. Ya, I know I said not staying over. But plan changed. Stay-ed instead. Quite a funny countdown. We don't really have the digital watch with us. So, we all beside the guys got excited when the clock show 2359. And after all the funny counting of the second, clock show 0000 !! HAPPY NEW YEAR! LOL.

And countdown, we went down to living. Catch a soccer match. Yar, I know is not what I will watch. I didn't watch finish that match. Didn't know who got that game. HAHA. So next is I'm playing monopoly deal with the guys and another side eavesdropping the conversation between Kaifeng and the girls. I can really multitask ah.

Up to the room with the monopoly team and sleepy team. We cant possibly play the monopoly deal for the whole night. So everyone down again for the Wii. Tennis is a nice game. I like it and now down with muscle ache.

For the very first time, I actually didn't get a place to sleep. I'm awake the whole night. Xinyi, Cheekuan and I just play Wii the whole night while Huimin and Calvin awake and half sleeping on the sofa.

And hey is morning, Breakfast by Gay's father. Thank lots.

And guess what?

Second question: How's 2012??

2012 not that good for me at the start. I guess I lost my bus card ! FREAKING SAD MAX. :((( I guess I dropped at his house. But Gay don't seem to find it. So where did I actually drop it?? HOLY !!! This is real bad. I haven told my mum about it. And how freaking am I going to tell my mother? It would be the second time if I got it lost again ! *fainting in process* I can really imagine my mum's reaction after she know the news.

So please let Gay find my card !!! PLEASE PLEASE !!

p.s 只要友情中出现多的，就不再是友情。

SsinyiI

Monday, December 26 @ 4:08 AM

One week passed. Christmas passed.
I'm still not done with my designs and storyboard. I need to start real soon.

As for Christmas this year:
Went to Gay's house on Christmas Eve. :) Short meet up with sec friends. Not many came. Jocelyn Yow not even there. :/
Christmas head over to Xinyi's house. Went for KFC with her and Huimin[joined later].

Guess the most common topic for girls after a long meet up is 'BGR'.
Congrat for those that not ending 2011 single.
As for singles like me, just have to end this year alone~ HAHAHA. Sound sad, right?
Guess the time is not right, still...

Holiday seriously passing real fast. :/ I need a longer holiday.
I applied for IEP. [attachment]. If I got the attachment, that meant I wont be having any holiday. But I really feel like having holiday. But why would they even choose me to be attached to any company. Confidant is lacking on me.

This week please be slow and steady. I need to get a sketchbook. Or can I just use back my old one?? :/

‘从新开始’ 好像也变得有点难。
单方面的 ‘和好’ 好像还是比不了单方的‘倔强’。

SsinyiI

Saturday, December 17 @ 12:03 AM

Amanda going oversea. :)

So GIF from jos and me.

AMANDA BYE BYE ~~

Wednesday, December 14 @ 9:25 PM

刚刚跟老弟吵架。为了买书的事。
事情发生的太快。就连我也忘了自己说了那些气话。好后悔。不应该吵架的。
原来就连我，他也打得的下手。原来我对他没什么大不了。原来‘姐姐’对他是那么的不重要。原来他真的不喜欢我。我真的很没用。
常常有人说我太爱我弟。可是我已经不知道怎么爱了。我做的每件事好像都没有在帮他。
我真的不知道这是大家所谓的‘变'? 还是我的‘宠坏’？
可是照我看，他也并不是这样的。他以前好好哦。弟弟好爱我。现在怎么好像是我不认识的人。
如果我没有退，他是不是真的会打我？
他不会吧。我没勇气想象。
如果他打我，我真的会。。。

他对妈说‘都听她的，她最好。’
这句话好伤。我真的不想做‘好的’。
是我让他这样的吗？我觉得他没有变。
只是想法多了。表达方式变了。可是我还是好痛哦。

我尝试冷静的说，可是对他只是我的伪装。
我真的好累。

我错了吧。弟弟还是弟弟的。

Monday, December 12 @ 11:40 PM

Holiday IS HERE

in 3 days

Cant wait for holiday to be here. I wanna my sleep.

Nevertheless, I still need to do my sketches & skeleton for my PD. :/

At least I got some time to spare for myself and sleep. I shall try not to go out in any way. I must finish these 2 work before I can give myself a true rest.

Recently, I feel like spending more time with my family. Accompany my bro because he is having holiday now. He said that wanna go prawning on his birthday. He bring his friends, I bring my friends. But like awkward max ar? And I don't know who can I bring. LOL. Guess not much people can can ton over night. :/ Shall think about it again.

最近看了两部电影【那些年，我们追的女孩】和【一泡而红】。

两部都很好笑，特别是【那些年】。里面一些黄色幽默让每个人笑到肚子痛！哈哈哈！而【一泡而红】对我来说很有熟悉感。因为我本身是马来西亚人。两部的演员都演的很好。

【那些年】　能拥有共同的回忆，看你幸福的离去，我也能笑着的祝福你。

【一泡而红】　无论怎么了，你还是我生命最佳女主角。支持你所要的，陪伴你的追寻。

SsinyiI